His Mind
by Elixiria
Summary: Fairy Tail x791, 7 long years past, he meets her again, his beloved red head. A lot of thoughts run through his mind as he ponder what to do.


**His Mind.**

To be honest, Jellal was really trying his best to keep himself together. She was gone for 7 years-the woman whose existence is of his utmost importance. Now, after that many years, the woman suddenly appeared before him again, still retaining her youthful beauty, her sharp personality and her love for him. It was not because he did not miss her nor it was because he did not love her anymore.

To Jellal Fernandes, meeting Erza Scarlet again was the world to him. But, he was not ready to "face the world", not after all those horrible deeds he committed in his past. Jellal used to be an optimistic and Natsu-ish kind of person. It was only after being possessed by Ultear that the man changed his ideology. Though she herself was being manipulated by darkness. He once thought that had those terrible events not happened, he would've walk edtogether with Erza, with Fairy Tail on their quest for justice. But, the man brushed it aside as he thought it was just wishful thinking on his part. Yes, he is still on his path of atoning for his crime. That is why he cannot allow himself and his woman to be together, much to her forgiveness. He understands the fact that even if they are together, he will still feel guilty for what he had done in the past and if that were to happen, Erza will be even more saddened than she already is. That's why he had to lie to himself, to her about his having a fiancé. Yes, that woman was just fictional and she held no candle in his heart while his red-headed mage has become an integral part in his life. He was proud to call Erza his, and his alone. Jellal guessed he still has some of "Siegrain's" attitude in him, the kind of obnoxious, wizard-saints kind. He can confidently say that she is his and no one can steal her from him but only after he has finished atoning for his deeds will he allow himself and her to be together. He thought he was cruel. Yes, he is. But he did not want to give her to anyone else. Although he says that "As long as Erza is happy, he is" he honestly want to take Gray or Natsu's place so that he can fight with her side by side. But then, reality strikes, he is a fugitive and she is a creature of light. He would taint her by being near her. But, It pains him to lie to her. It pains him every time he regrets not taking her when they were on the beach. He should have made his mark on her so that nobody else can take her from him. Jellal Fernandes was of extreme possessiveness and he had come to term with it a long long time ago, even when they were small and she would comfort Sho as he kept crying all the time. He used to think would she hug him like that if he faked his uneasiness too?

But surely, now, thinking back, that was not his religion and he

Yes, all he can do now is love her from afar and make sure nothing harmful will come her way.

All the conflicting emotions cloud his mind. But, then, love needs no logic and theory. He takes his black coat and teleports to Markarov's room. The master seems to be not very surprised even when there's a criminal in his room. Jellal then said: "Let's make a deal, master! Will you allow me to participate in the Grand Magic Games, there are some sorts of strange magic and it would cause FT great disadvantages if the magic were to become a hindrance in the quest for victory!" The old man did not ask why but living as long as he did, there was no need for him to ask why was Jellal concerned himself with it. The answer was right in his guild, the old mage's lovely S-class mage "Titania". Ah, love,he thought, was such a complex but beautiful thing. A fugitive minds little of himself to protect the woman he loves even if to run the risk of exposing himself to thousands of people. Despite Jellal constantly saying that it was for the good of finding the magic but Makarov was not borne yesterday to know it was, not a bluff, but an excuse to be near the person he love. After all, he is, too, a human. Pondering a while the old man decides to go with the flow. He accepts the criminal's request and they parts ways. Both of them think hard about love.


End file.
